


Sixty Seconds of Peace of Mind

by NamelesslyNightlock



Series: Going Down Swinging [60]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anger, Angst, Anxiety, Apologies, Arguing, Avenger Loki (Marvel), Comfort, Couch Cuddles, Declarations Of Love, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, Happy Ending, Hot Chocolate, Kissing, Loki (Marvel) is a Good Boyfriend, M/M, Romantic Fluff, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs Sleep, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Understanding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:35:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24439042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NamelesslyNightlock/pseuds/NamelesslyNightlock
Summary: Sometimes, the rigours of being an Avenger can feel like a little too much.
Relationships: Loki/Tony Stark
Series: Going Down Swinging [60]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1330490
Comments: 30
Kudos: 341





	Sixty Seconds of Peace of Mind

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rabentochter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rabentochter/gifts).



> Thank you Sesil for the idea that set me off on this one ❤︎  
>   
>  **Prompt** — _“Can we just pretend like we’re normal for once?”_

Tony threw his jacket hard at the wall, his hands balling into fists at his sides in his frustration. He knew he was going to be blamed for what had happened– his recklessness in the middle of the fight had almost got everyone killed, and if Loki hadn’t been there to throw up a shield with his seiðr, they would have been.

He fucking _knew_ he’d made a mistake. Steve had told him to wait, but Tony thought he had the upper hand and had charged forward alone. He shouldn’t have done it.

But he _had_ , and they’d survived. They’d all got out of it, and Tony knew not to do it again. He’d learned his bloody lesson.

He knew that wouldn’t be enough, though.

He knew what was waiting for him in the debrief, he knew that the others would all tear him apart.

And he just didn’t want to deal with it right now.

It wasn’t that he didn’t see the benefit of a debrief. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be a team player, or that he didn’t regret what he had done, or that he didn’t want to make it better.

He was just _tired._

He’d known what he was signing up for when he’d become Iron Man, when he’d joined the Avengers. He’d known it wasn’t going to be easy. He’d _known_ that it would be tough, that there’d be days when he was sore and exhausted, when he wanted to quit. He’d known that, but he’d thought that his motive, that the _cause_ was worth all of that and more.

There had been multiple times when he’d been ready to give his life. He’d suffered plenty, would be willing to suffer more.

A lecture was nothing.

It was just…

This was their fourth call out in half as many days, and yeah– Tony was fucking _tired._

He tried to force himself to relax, but his fingers were shaking as he went to unbutton his shirt, and he couldn’t seem to stop thinking about everything that had happened, what had _almost_ happened because of him. And he’d barely even managed to get the first one undone when the door to his bedroom slammed open and Loki came storming inside, still wearing his full armour.

“I cannot believe you just did that to me,” Loki hissed, his voice brimming with almost as much anger and rage as his eyes. “I cannot _believe_ that you would just leave me down there with all of _them_ , leave me to try and explain why you did what you did. You could not even be bothered to come to the _meeting—”_

“No, I couldn’t,” Tony snapped back, his own anger bubbling over. “Excuse me if I don’t want to sit through another fucking tirade of the righteous captain detailing everything I’ve ever done wrong—”

“So you left me to deal with them _alone?”_ Loki cut in. “You know that they still do not trust me, and yet you left me to clean up your mess?”

“You saved them,” Tony spat. “You cleaned up my mess already. I’m sure they’re all _thrilled_ with you right now, and if you’re so upset with me, then why don’t you just go back down there?”

Loki’s jaw tightened, and he looked about to say something else– but Tony wasn’t done.

“Look, I don’t fucking want this, okay? I can’t deal with it right now, I just need some peace and quiet. Is that too much to ask for?” Tony’s voice was still harsh as he spoke, but he could feel the beginnings of tears stinging in the corners of his eyes. “I didn’t want it from them, and I sure as hell can’t deal with it from you as well, all right?”

Tony wasn’t sure what he was expecting Loki to do in that moment– despite knowing Loki so very intimately, Tony still found his partner to be often impossible to predict. It was one of the things Tony loved about him, if he were being honest– even in moments like this. But even so, he hadn’t expected Loki to do… _nothing._

He just stood and stared, his expression wiping painfully blank.

And Tony… well.

He knew he wasn’t angry at Loki, not really. Loki had saved his ass just as surely as he’d saved everyone else, and he _was_ right– Tony had thrown him to the sharks by not going with him to the meeting. It wasn’t that Loki wasn’t more than capable of dealing with anything the Avengers could throw at him by himself, it was more that– at least when Tony was there, he acted as something of a buffer.

Loki was just as tired as Tony, after all.

And Tony knew– he was angry at _himself._ He was angry at his mistake, he was angry at his reaction, he was angry at his weakness. And when Loki had come in like that, he’d just—

Well.

“Goddamn it,” Tony groaned, rubbing his hands over his face. “I hate this. I hate that we never get a single _moment._ I hate that I know we’re going to be called out again, and I hate that I’m considering just—”

He cut himself off, not even wanting to _say_ it. Not when he knew that even if he were in the worst kind of pain, bleeding out and on the verge of death, he would _still_ crawl out there if even a single person needed saving.

But that didn’t mean that he didn’t want a goddamn _break._

Tony groaned, and looked back to Loki with a feeling of helpless desperation.

“Can’t we just pretend like we’re normal for once? Just for a little while?”

Loki stared at him for a moment longer, his expression still _painfully_ empty—

And then Loki turned on his heel, and he left.

To Tony, Loki’s exit felt like a punch to the fucking _gut._

Mistake after mistake. It seemed that he just couldn’t stop making them.

His hands were still shaking, perhaps worse than before– and Tony ended up just pulling the shirt over his head.

The shower helped a little, the hot water soothing tense muscles, but the moment he stepped out of the boiling stream and his skin hit the cold air, it all came flooding back.

He felt like there was something stuck in his throat, like his stomach muscles were clenching, like his breakfast was about to come back up. The image of the back of Loki’s head was wedged against his mind, and he couldn’t help but fear the worst.

Tony needed to make it right. He had fucked up too many times today, and he wasn’t going to let this one lie.

He cared about Loki too much to leave things how they were, even for just a few minutes.

Knowing he wasn’t going to be able to put on anything with a button – and knowing that Loki wouldn’t care anyway – Tony threw on some sweatpants and a t-shirt, and then headed out of his room. Loki had likely gone to the training room, as that was generally where he ended up when he needed to work off his frustrations. So the moment he was dressed, Tony headed back out of his room and toward the elevator, his mind whirring as he anxiously tried to plan what he was going to say—

But then the elevator doors opened to reveal _Loki,_ and all the words died in Tony’s throat.

He couldn’t help but stare. Loki had also changed into more comfortable clothes, and he held a steaming mug in each hand.

“Loki?” he asked, the question clear even when his words were not. “What…?”

Loki’s lips turned up, but he too looked a little nervous as he stepped out of the elevator. “I thought… that you might appreciate some _normal.”_ He lifted the mugs slightly as he spoke, as if they explained his point. “And you don’t need to worry. While I was downstairs, I told all of the others that if they came up here, they did so on pain of being turned into a small, amphibious animal. Thor supported my sincerity on the matter.”

“Oh,” Tony said, still feeling slightly out of step.

“I am sorry for earlier, I spoke wrongly,” Loki said, speaking more firmly now. “I should have realised the way you were feeling. It wasn’t you who was in the wrong. _I_ should have been up here _with you.”_

Tony was shaking his head before Loki had even finished, his earlier thoughts and words flowing easier now he knew that Loki was feeling the same way. If there was one thing he hated more than feeling upset himself, it was seeing _Loki_ in such a state.

“If you’d missed the meeting, they might have taken it as an excuse to throw you out of the Avengers,” he said. “You needed to be there, and I should have been there with you. _I’m_ sorry, too.”

Loki’s smile deepened at that, his expression soft. “Then let that be the end of it,” he said. “Now, come on.”

Tony frowned, a little confused– but he followed as Loki led the way into their living room.

And then Tony’s eyes widened.

The living room looked mostly the same as ever, but right in front of the couch Loki had set up a small table with a bowl of snacks and a warmly glowing candle. The couch itself was stacked up on one side with pillows, and there was a thick blanket Tony vaguely recognised hanging over one of the armrests, while the TV was paused on the words that constituted the opening of _Gladiator–_ a movie Tony had been wanting to watch with Loki for quite some time.

“Loki,” Tony breathed, shifting his gaze from the set-up to his partner. “You… did all this?”

“You wanted normal,” Loki said, ducking his head slightly in a move that was rather uncharacteristically bashful. “This is not entirely normal for _us_ , but… I thought that it might be nice. A moment of peace, as it were.”

Tony didn’t really think about it. He just stepped forward, gently cupped Loki’s cheek, leaned over the hot chocolates Loki still held and pressed their lips together in a slow, sweet kiss.

Loki’s eyes remained closed as they leaned away, his expression content, as if he were trying to savour the moment. And right then, despite wanting to apologise again, Tony just… smiled.

“I do love you, you know,” he said.

A matching smile curved Loki’s lips as he opened his eyes, bright green shining with softness. “I love you, too.” 

Loki placed the mugs on the table, and then he leaned back comfortably on the couch. He reached out with one hand to curl his fingers around Tony’s wrist, and Tony went willingly, lying against Loki’s chest, head on his shoulder as one of Loki’s arms wrapped firmly around his waist.

Tony was able to reach the hot chocolates, and Loki picked up the remote– and as Tony pulled the blanket over them both and curled in close against his partner, Loki pressed a soft kiss to the side of his head.

It was perfect. _Peaceful._

And as the movie started and JARVIS lowered the lights, Tony found himself wondering if it were possible, perhaps, for this to _become_ their new normal. If only for a little while.

Because quiet moments like these, together with Loki?

They just might be enough to keep Tony sane through the chaos of their lives.


End file.
